This week I had the privilege of speaking at SXSW 2012 on “Creating Relationships That Matter.” I was surprised by how many turned out for my session, especially considering that so many events happen simultaneously at the hyper-connected, social media frenzy otherwise known as South by Southwest. 

For those of you who weren’t among the nearly 20,000 who flocked to Austin, Texas for South by, I want to share a quick summary of the two themes I touched on in my presentation from the book that Max J. Pucher and I co-authored, Who’s in Your Orbit?  Beyond Facebook—Creating Relationships That Matter.

First, a truly meaningful life requires meaningful personal relationships. Those mutually beneficial relationships represent your spheres of resource and influence, or Orbits. The people in your Orbits are not separate from the social networking world, but in fact they are the strongest elements of it. What I thought might be a bold and controversial premise was instead heartily endorsed by the audience members. 

My second point was simply this:  Truly meaningful personal relationships require effort to develop and sustain, but it is much better to invest in the infinite potential of close relationships than to be duped by the illusion of connection built by accumulating followers and “friends.” The bottom line? You need more than a social network. 

I concluded my presentation with a look at the contrast between the “me-centric” attitude that is so prevalent in social media with the “you-centric” attitude necessary to build a strong personal network. I wholeheartedly believe that to be successful, in whatever we seek to accomplish, we must abandon relational voyeurism and opt to build relationships that truly matter.